Did I ever tell you the story of how mama Sykik ensured I was “untoastable” in my neighbourhood?
Mama Sykik has been on my case ehn, it haff tayed.....there was this day when I was in my mid teens, fresh out of secondary school and I still never carry breast, I was a late bloomer. I had two tiny sprouts on my chest that I had to push forward well-well so they can be noticed.
Papa Sykik asked that I go to the local store down the road to buy bread. I dressed up, packed my tiny sprouts inside bra top and sashayed out of the house. I got to the store and met a male classmate (Tosin) who resides in that area. We got talking about JAMB, our preferred tertiary institutions and our secondary school days....we must have chatted for about 20mins before I realised that my devoted parents will be wondering why I was gone for so long. I paid for the bread and said good bye to Tosin, jokingly he pulled me towards himself demanding for a good bye hug...I tried to use my corner eye to look around for any hint of Papa or Mama Sykik, before my corner eye could do a full 360°...I felt a heavy slap behind my back (the type the yorubas call abara).........who else it fit be nau...yours truly, Mama Sykik...only God knows where she came out from...I swear she has super powers.....I felt like the ground should open and swallow me....which kain embarrassment be this?
Mama Sykik (pulling my ears): I said it, this girl you won’t kill me....no wonder you went to wear bra top, so you want to be “shooking” men with those tiny stumps you call breast abi
Sykik: yyyyyeeeeee, you gave me a fright, what have I done wrong nau...shebi its bread I came to buy (this is what the abara slap does to you, you begin to answer questions you where not asked)
Mama Sykik (ala-yoruba-woman-clapping-her-hands-in-wonderment-pose): Is it me that you are replying like that because of this small boy ....issokay....oya...alele.....forward march......... let us go home
Mama Sykik then faced Tosin, swinging her flip-flops across his face, she warned him never to come within 100 yards of me if he doesn’t want what happened in 1967 to happen to him ( *tongue-in-cheek* ) I couldn’t resist adding that line for effect. We got home and Mama Sykik started reeling off my sins to Papa Sykik ,.......... of how his daughter was just “sharing” hugs to all the guys on the streets, I was too angry to even defend myself......lol...Mama Sykik is a drama queen.... I just had my mouth wide open, I couldn’t even defend myself as she tried to describe the “compromising” position she caught me in.......
That incident made the guys stay away from me.